


It Doesn't Have To Be Just Me?

by blooberrymochii



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jeong Yunho-centric, M/M, Movie Night, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Soft Jeong Yunho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-24 20:33:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooberrymochii/pseuds/blooberrymochii
Summary: Yunho's had it rough in terms of love. He's definitely had his fair share of hurt and he's ready to call it off and just call himself the shell of a human being. But a share house and some equally as messed up room mates could never change anything. It would always end up just Yunho. Just me.~OT8~*tags will be updated as i post
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Kang Yeosang, Jeong Yunho/Kim Hongjoong, Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hhhh this is my first post on this site so please be nice sniFF. also i wrote a majority of this in my humanities class bc i hate my teacher and he creeps me out. enjoy <3

“Am I enough for you?” a meek figure whispered up from the scratchy asphalt. His figure trembled and his face paled the longer the silence carried out. His partner was simply standing there, avoiding eye contact, training it avidly to the ground.

“Really? No, and I don’t think you ever will be.” With that he was gone with the turn of keys and the buzz of a car engine. With him, left the last bit of dignity Yunho had ever carried. It was all shattered around him, shards of glass littered on a dimly lit, abandoned parking lot. It would have taken all of his willpower to call his aunt, go back home and spend his time sulking in his bed instead. But that willpower left with Jiung as well. The miserable lump -Yunho wasn’t quite sure he could call himself human anymore- remained motionless, save for the shake of shoulders racked with sobs.

Nothing was comforting about the fading paint of car parks lines, or the warm hum of the streetlight. Even worse, with a flat phone in a neighborhood you’ve never been to in the middle of the night, he really had no other choice than to sit in his own pity and self-deprecation. No choice but to hate himself and let that eat away further at his conscience.

-

“Yunho, darling, I simply cannot let you carry on like this.” A saucy voice slipped through Yunho’s headphones. He paused the song and turned, the small spin of the chair messing with his desperately sleep deprived brain.

“Aunt Mimi, this assignment is due in,” Yunho glanced at his phone, not surprised at how empty his notifications are, more worried about his essay being due in, “seven minutes and I am a solid 200 words off-“ He went to continue rambling when his aunt cut him off with a solemn sigh.

“Honey, I know you got out off a really rough situation a few months ago but I can’t keep watching you in this suffocating loop. So, I…” His aunt had drifted to his bed, taking a seat and trailing off to glance at his photos on the wall. The polaroids of him and Jiung were still hung by fairy lights and old washi tape. Yunho had honestly been too scared to take them down, for fear of his harsh reality becoming all the more true.

“I signed you up for this share house. There are four other boys living there, and they’re looking to rent out the fifth room. It’s close to your campus, a very nice looking place, and a nice looking group, they’re all studying or have secured jobs. I think it’s the perfect environment for you to get over Jiung. Declutter this place…” With the last words her gaze shifted from Yunho’s widened eyes to the polaroids once again.

The shock must not have properly set in, because within thirty seconds, Yunho was sighing and returning to his essay. His aunt left the room, not before telling him he moves in on the weekend and hurriedly closing his door. He’d process this tomorrow, and he would stay true to that by writing it on a sticky note to go on the side of his computer screen.

_Yunho, process that ur_  
_moving into a share house_  
_in one day. Thanks to mimi_

With the essay submitted a mere fourty seconds before closing (there was no other way to do it, if you asked Yunho) the tall man slumped from his chair into his bed, gazing momentarily at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling before falling into a restless slumber.

-

Now, waking up with your only recollection of the night being a barely comprehensible sticky note was probably not ideal. But since when was Yunho’s life ideal? His eye twitched angrily, throwing things into boxes that were left outside his door that morning, also with a sticky note left on top,

_Yunho, I told them_  
_you’ll arrive @_  
_11 tomorrow._  
_Have fun packing!_  
_< 3 Aunt Mimi_

With an unapologetic groan and unwashed hair, the 22 year old was just about done with where life had put him. It didn’t get much worse than this, right? He had a mountain load of washing to do, a cluttered room to pack and a seriously needed shower to have. His head was so clouded and messy though, it had been like that for months really. The only time Jiung wasn’t on his mind was when he was sleep deprived, a walking husk of a human being or when he had to be doing a university assignment.

He was guilty to admit that his exes contact name was still “Bunny” with some heart emojis and he called him at least every two days, only to be sent straight to voice mail. He knew, realistically that after the first week or two of calls, Jiung must have changed his phone number or blocked Yunho. And Yunho would probably do the same thing in his shoes, but he always had a hard time letting go of what was familiar.

By two o’clock that afternoon, the man’s room was bare and sad, but Yunho remained numb to it, harsh reality hadn’t set in from two months ago, so why would this set in at all? With his aunt arriving home in a blur and his day breezing by, it seemed like not nearly enough time before his aunt was ushering him in the shower the next morning, warm, presentable clothes laid out for his first time meeting four new boys.

-

Soon, Yunho was taking deep breaths in his car, knuckles turning white on his steering wheel, boxes and bags thrown haphazardly in the back. The car clock read exactly eleven o’clock and accordingly, someone had stepped out of the very grand front door. He had to admit, the outside of the house was very nice and whoever was the owner was evidently well off.

The man who had exited the house was quickly approaching, his silver hair styled nicely making him look almost like an idol. His clothes were something to behold as well, jeans that had been purposefully ripped and cut, the tears and squares filled in with scrap fabric, paired with a very simple white tee. Yunho was honestly too busy taking in the man’s appearance to register the fact that he was tapping on his car window.

Fumbling with turning his car off and opening the door, he takes a step out of his car door and bows politely. He only realizes that this man is shorter than him when he looks down to make eye contact. “You must be Jeong Yunho. We’ve been very eager to meet you. I’m Kim Hongjoong, I own this house and currently, I’m late for work. San, Wooyoung and Yeosang are inside, and they’ll help you around. I can’t wait to meet you properly when I get home.” As the man spoke rather fast, he moved towards presumably his own car, leaving Yunho overwhelmed and stunned at the influx of information. And even as Hongjoong pulled away, Yunho remained stationary. He’s not sure how long he stood there, but it was long enough to get trapped in his weirdly comforting thought spiral, using his muscle memory to pull out his phone and dial his ex’s number. He just needed a familiar feeling to ground him, whether that was a nice feeling or not didn’t matter much to Yunho anymore. It was sent straight to voicemail, and in an equally weird way, that comforted him more. It was comfortable and familiar.

But ultimately, he knew he had to start moving. So, climbing into the back, grabbing his main bag and a medium sized box, the adult moved tentatively towards the front door. It didn’t feel right to just waltz into a house he’d never visited before even if it was his new home, so holding the box uncomfortably between his arm and hip, he gripped the door knocker (seriously, who even has door knockers anymore?) with a sweaty hand and knocked it a few times, shifting the box back into both hands again. Quick pattering footsteps could be heard along with a few snorts and giggles. Then the door was opening, to one skinny boy in only some very tight briefs. The short male following him had a white towel wrapped around his waist, obviously trying to catch the other, and the last one was fully dressed, following the first two with a tired but warm expression.

“Guys, go get dressed or one of you is sleeping on the floor tonight.” The dressed one pushed them back into the house as he stepped forward, a smile never leaving his lips. Yunho was sure his face must have been red, struggling to make eye contact and keep his eyes from wandering to the skinny boy’s butt as he sauntered away.

“My apologies, San and Wooyoung are impossible to control even on important days. But I’m Yeosang and you’re Yunho and you’re moving in here today. Here,” Yeosang reaches out to take the box that Yunho almost forgot was in his arms. After being invited inside, Yeosang attempted to make small talk and learn about Yunho as he gave the house tour but the older might as well have been mute, giving responses that barely made sense to the question as he tried to comprehend just how nice this house was. The lounge was huge, with an open kitchen connecting to it with expensive marble countertops and a large glass fridge that Yunho genuinely thought was fake. He noticed a hall leading off the kitchen but that apparently wasn’t their next destination. His attention was instead drawn to the fact that there was a second floor to this gorgeous house.

From the entrance, to the left and just above the lounge, was a spiraling staircase painted a distinct turquoise and it shouldn’t have worked, but in some way it did. Maybe the whole house’s accent was turquoise but Yunho was just not in a place to take that part in. Walking up the stairs though, Yunho had to be terrified. There was no railing, and sure that’s aesthetically pleasing but he was almost certain he’d fall and die if not careful.

Upstairs was equally as gorgeous, another lounge and a few doors, three of which were closed and dark dip at the end. Yeosang guided him into the one that was open, “this will be your room. It’s a bit smaller than the others, and I guess that’s why moving in last sucks but you’ve got a nice view and Hongjoong will be happy to let you do whatever you please in here,” he sets the box down, solidifying Yunho’s place in this room.

“Oh no no, this is bigger than any room I’ve ever had.” Yunho surprised himself with those rushed words. After his past experiences, he’d grown uncomfortable around new people; untrusting and scared. But something about Yeosang pulled it out of him, a part of himself he was sure had disintegrated. The other smiled with his teeth this time.

“Next door to you is Jongho’s room and next to his is Hongjoong, then the bathroom upstairs is the last door. And next to the bathroom is a carpeted staircase. The marble one can be a bit scary especially when drunk. I’ll show you the other rooms downstairs.” True to his word, Yunho was led back downstairs and to the unexplored hallway. There were four doors there as well, “the first two doors are San’s then Wooyoung’s rooms. Then we have the downstairs bathroom and the laundry.” Yeosang turned to face Yunho now, a warm smile burning into his chest. He could only offer a half, not nearly as heavenly smile back. Taking a small glance at his watch, Yeosang’s eyes widen.

“I have a class to get to. I’m so sorry to leave you, just unpack and if you need anything before someone gets home, come knock on San’s door. They always prefer to use his room. Have fun unpacking!” With a pat on the shoulder Yeosang was running out the door and Yunho was left standing alone like a statue, still trying to process the last two days, even more the last hour. But like Yeosang had said, he had unpacking to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back early woohoo

Yunho did have trouble with getting his boxes up the stairs and even into the house but he refused to go and ask San or Wooyoung for help. He was too busy trying to piece together names and faces, or names to asses in San’s case. And he got stuck, he knew Hongjoong had a room upstairs, and another human he couldn’t remember the name of and then downstairs was Wooyoung and San’s room. So where did Yeosang sleep? Did he live here? Did San and Wooyoung share a room and Yeosang was the one in the room next door? But Mimi had said there were four boys so why was Yeosang here at all? It was making Yunho’s brain hurt.

Almost as much as his decision making was. Should he put the polaroids back up? He had packed them with his utmost care, taking them down carefully and wrapping them in bubble wrap so they wouldn’t be damaged even in the short trip. And despite how much social awareness he had lost, Yunho had half the mind to want to make a good impression on these guys. So, he opted to hang them inside his cupboard door, new washi tape adorning the sides, and stringed fairy lights lining between them. This way, the others never had to know.

Although, he was startled into slamming the cupboard shut by a light knock on his open door. Surely not suspicious. Leaning on his door frame, was San with dirty green hair, a large shirt showing his collar bones and dipping of his shoulder, as well as covering just over his mid-thigh, leaving Yunho wondering if there was anything underneath it and blushing a little.

“Yunho! My guy! I like what you’ve got going on in here. But Hongjoong hyung is going to be home soon, and Seonghwa will be over soon but Wooyoung is starting dinner, do you want to come down and help?” San had an almost cat like way of moving, his eyes adding to the effect as he sauntered over and ran a hand over Yunho’s viridian green blanket. Somehow his gaze was innocent despite the whole air about himself.

“O-oh. Seonghwa? I guess. Does Yeosang live here?” Yunho had kind of blurted out. With wide eyes and a racing heart, he just lowered his head and exited the room to the kitchen. His heart dropped a little with the following sound of San’s low giggle. Yunho nervously seated himself at the kitchen island, watching Wooyoung quietly tie up his apron.

“To answer you, yes Seonghwa is our… friend and no, Yeosang still lives with his parents but he stays here a lot; has a whole damn wardrobe in Woo’s room.” San said as he entered. He made a pause between identifying Seonghwa as their friend, which definitely struck Yunho as odd. Was he actually like, their drug dealer? A hired stripper? He didn’t want to know.

Wooyoung turned around, smiling, and beginning the preparation for dinner by washing his hands. San and Wooyoung spoke about their schooling and jobs, trying to include Yunho and ask him about his experiences with school but not much of a response could be pulled out of the quiet boy. Admittedly, he was stuck up in his head. Thoughts floating by, about Jiung, school, his aunt, these boys he was supposed to live with and probably call friends. All while managing his terrible mental health? Having to hide who he was, from the people he lives with? It was never a problem at school because at least then he had an escape. But now he lives here, with people he can’t read as easily as he used to be able to. Before he could catch himself, Yunho was spiraling. He tried to take subtle deep breaths, breathe in squares like his therapist had taught. But luckily, it seemed there was a rescue.

“What are you studying, Yunho?” A different man’s voice had emerged from behind him, causing him to jump and spin in his chair, subsequently hitting his knee against the edge of the counter. A black haired man was bending down at the doorway, taking off his very expensive looking shoes and a designer jacket. For whatever reason, when the man looked up and Yunho caught a look at a face sculpted by the gods, he felt compelled to answer.

“Nursing. I’m studying nursing and psychology. And I do some dance work.” Despite the out of place confidence to answer, he absolutely did not have the will to hold eye contact or speak the last part as loud as the rest as the stranger stepped closer. All the stranger did was nod and continue moving closer, ruffling San’s hair then moving to help Wooyoung. Yunho didn’t miss the light tap on the butt that Wooyoung had received from the taller man either.

“Hyung! At least introduce yourself.” San grumbled as he tried to fix his hair, frowning at Wooyoung when he let out an evil laugh.

“I’m Seonghwa, you’ll see me over here nightly to help make dinner. When’s Joongie getting home?” It seemed Seonghwa was still scoping out what kind of person Yunho was, if not by the way he tried to keep interactions short and switch to talking to someone more familiar as quick as possible. Despite catching on to this behaviour, Yunho honestly couldn’t blame him. He was equally as apprehensive and calculating when meeting someone new.

As San was about to answer Seonghwa, Wooyoung let out an obnoxious, almost scandalous gasp. “I _do_ recognize you!” Wooyoung turned around to point an accusing wooden spoon at Yunho. Seonghwa sighed and took, the spoon to continue cooking but San stayed looking curiously.

“We dance together! You’re like, the best dancer in class but you’ve been away recently. Always super quiet and everyone is too scared to talk to you, but you actually look like a puppy when I see you smile in the mirror when the teacher compliments you!” Wooyoung had bounced over to be directly across from him now, eager and leaning over the counter. His excitement was almost cute.

“I look like a puppy?” Is all Yunho could manage to get out with a little turn of his head. San cooed at the action, reaffirming that doing that absolutely did make him look like a confused puppy. In his head though, Yunho wasn’t comprehending all of the compliments he got, he was just trying to think of why Jiung had never said he looked like that. He had always said Yunho looked like a baby bear, soft and innocent but so much power that cast fear into people because he didn’t know how to use it.

Now he was hearing that he was one of the warmest, happiest things he could be who brought comfort and energy wherever it went. It didn’t feel right, to feel approachable, or cute or warm. It was foreign, and Yunho didn’t like foreign so all he did was keep his blushing face down and let the two continue to fawn. Once his face and neck were surely on fire, he was once again sent a rescue of someone else arriving home.

“Dad is home!” Wooyoung had yelled and San cackled, both receiving a hug from Hongjoong on his way inside.

“Yah! So’s Jongho, where’s his excitement?” San got a light whack to the head but smiled when the older pet his head in apology. Hongjoong turned to Yunho with an almost apologetic smile, as if he could see through Yunho’s glass shell and knew every bad thing that had ever happened to him. That sent a shudder down the younger’s spine.

“Yunho, this is Jongho, he’s our youngest.” Hongjoong pointed to the boy who was now shuffling over in slippers, with a wave. Looking at him, Yunho would say Jongho had more bear-like features than he ever did. He suddenly wondered where in the world Jiung had seen something as brave and ferocious as a bear in fluffy, soft Yunho. Caught in his thoughts as per usual, Yunho only offered Jongho a nod and a small smile.

Somehow, Seonghwa had finished making dinner alone, despite the minor chaos going on around him. So, he ordered everyone to seat themselves around the dining table as he dished up the meal and various side dishes. While the others chattered and ate freely, Yunho found himself struggling to hold the chopsticks properly because of his racing mind, heart, and weirdly sweaty hands. He tried his best to take a few bites of the rice he was served and sip of the soup, and deeming that good enough, Yunho excused himself early, climbing up to his room with five pairs of eyes on his back.

-

“Movie night!” San shouted and jumped on the large, almost mattress like couch upstairs, closely followed by Wooyoung who was complaining how movie night would be incomplete without his Yeosangie. Hongjoong assured Wooyoung that Yeosang was busy and would make up for it another night. He tried to move towards the two laying on the couch but was caught by Seonghwa’s long arm around his waist, turning him to lock eyes and place a long kiss on his, admittedly chapped lips. But the action was sweet nonetheless, well, it would have been had Jongho not burst through the middle to go cuddle with Wooyoung and stop seeing these acts of romance.

Seonghwa breathed out a laugh, moving towards the dog pile that had begun. Hongjoong hesitated in joining by the pull of his hand, “I’m gonna ask Yunho if he wants to join us.” Hongjoong walked a few steps to the closed door, knocking lightly. He heard a small groan and took that as an okay to come in. Maybe he shouldn’t have, as he watched Yunho stumbling over to the door, hair messy and dressed in only boxers.

“O-oh sorry. Do you want to join us for movie night?” Hongjoong was fiddling with his fingers, preparing himself for being rejected. Yunho didn’t really answer him, just humming and pushing past him to go fall on the couch. It was evident that he wasn’t fully awake, and unbeknownst to the others, Yunho was never good at making good decisions when sleepy. So, the movie started, some stupid scary one that Jongho had chosen, sitting at the edge of the cuddle pile, absorbed into the movie.

Wooyoung was between San’s spread legs, the older mindlessly carding his fingers through the others hair, head resting on Seonghwa’s shoulder who had Hongjoong curled up in his lap, trying his best to watch the movie through his fingers. Yunho was sat as far away from them as he possibly could be. They had invited him to cuddle but Yunho just blinked slowly and didn’t respond nor move.

Only issue is, Yunho could not be worse at handling horror. Once he was fully awoken by a few of Wooyoung’s screams, he was trembling more than even Hongjoong was, balled up and trying to retreat into the corner of the couch. At an especially gore filled jump scare, with Jongho cackling loudly and the others laughing and trying to catch their breath at each other’s screams, small diamond tears had started to drip down Yunho’s face. He hadn’t screamed like anyone else, and maybe that drew more attention to him than it would have if he had the same reaction as them.

Not long later, tears still running, he found himself locking his teary eyes with San who pulled his hands from around Wooyoung’s sleeping torso, moving the younger to lay as comfortably as possible on Seonghwa. He proceeded to crawl over next to Yunho, tapping his chest, and invite for the crying boy to rest his head. With no words exchanged, the older was now sniffling quietly, San’s arm wrapped protectively around one of Yunho’s shoulders. The movie ended with only Jongho and San awake; Wooyoung fell asleep from San’s hands in his hair, Hongjoong might as well have been asleep from the start, Seonghwa could never hold himself through a whole movie after a working day and it had been so long since Yunho had fallen asleep with someone holding him that it felt so right to have San there.

Jongho and San worked together to move Yunho back to his room, figuring he’d be more comfortable to wake up there than smothered by five other boys. Jongho left back to his own room as well, and San rejoined the cuddle pile, holding Hongjoong’s small body against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've decided my updates will take place on fridays (AEST), weekly unless of course life gets in the way because I'm a high school student and we love that. aNYWAY, see you next friday :3

**Author's Note:**

> slurpslurp i'll try to keep my updates weekly


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